Guilty!

I haven't gone to church once since I've left for college. I'm taking a religious studies class, I wrote a whole blog on how important church is, and yet I haven't gone once. My only defense is that I haven't had time, but I guess that's a lie. I haven't made time. I mean, there's a church three blocks from campus, for crying out loud. If I had REALLY wanted to go, I would have gone. The thing is, I put off most of my work until Sunday, so when it rolls around every week, I ask myself, "can I go to church today?", and I always end telling myself, "no, you need the time for school work." I do want to go, just not enough to actually go. What's even more sad is that I probably waste the same amount of time on Sunday, even with all the work I have, that I would be spending going to church. The point is, I feel absolutely horrible about it.

What is it with Sundays? It's the best day to go to church, God made it the day of rest, the day of sabbath. So why did God let me wake up on countless Sundays thinking that going to Church was work? It's funny looking back at what I told myself on those days: "I'll make up for it when I go to college". Wrong! I guess I can only hope that I grow out of this phase of "lazy college student". One of these days I'll be a regular church-goer, then it'll be my turn to send "Season's Greetings" cards and "we miss you" letters to all the kids going off to college.

It isn't God that "lets" me be lazy, as much as I want to believe otherwise. He gave me free will. Going or not going is up to me, and my feeling of guilt is all mental. I'll believe that. But I can still blame it on the Church.